I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I was feeling energy between my hands, I was feeling it through and with my physical body’s senses – which are based on a physical design — and thus, I was not in contact with a ‘higher reality’ than the physical, but that, in perceiving that I was in contact with / experiencing a higher reality I was actually only in contact with my own mind through which, using ideas, stories, definitions I accumulated in reading about spirituality, I interpreted the feeling of energy and connected it with values and a definition that actually had nothing to do with the experience itself — as I in fact did not directly see and understand what the experience is
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that in feeling an energy sensation between my hands, this somehow proved that I am ‘on my way’ to a ‘higher reality’ of pure energy where I won’t have to experience being ‘limited by the physical reality’ — when in fact I was not on my way anywhere except my own mind fantasies about being ‘free’ of the physical reality — because how could I be ‘free’ of the physical reality if I do not even understand how the physical reality works and am thus LESS than the physical reality in my ‘existence’ as a personality defined by ideas and beliefs and stories?
Within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that it is not the physical reality that is limited, it is me as my mind as energy experiences that is limited, because I as the mind am constantly looking for a ‘feeling’ of freedom that I designed based on a definition of freedom being that of experiencing myself ‘free from gravity, free from discomfort, free from pain’ which I obviously cannot live practically in the physical and so thus ‘feel limited’ and ‘feel constricted’ by the physical
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that freedom is not an experience of energy, freedom is the living reality when and as all life is equally here receiving the support we give to each other to live fully as life with none ignoring / using / abusing / neglecting / harming another in the name of self interest
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value feeling energy between my hands as a ‘magnificent experience’, instead of realizing that magnificence is when all are here valuing each other as Equals as Life and only do what is best for all in giving to each other equal support to be able to develop fully as Life — where there no longer exists a money system based on using what is here for personal entertainment without consideration for what is best for all life
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the reason I would get frustrated when I didn’t feel the energy as strong as I wanted to, was because I had defined my experience of myself in relation to having an experience of energy, and the way I had decided I must experience myself is that I must feel and experience energy and thus when I couldn’t feel it, I would get frustrated – because I felt that I was ‘not able to experience myself fully’ — when in fact I was missing myself entirely, in not realizing that I am not an experience / feeling of energy – I am here as a physical being on Earth and the only reason I am desiring to feel and experience energy is because I have not yet decided to Live as myself Here in and as my physical body and had never been supported to discover myself as a physical being and to explore my self expression as a physical being on Earth, because I was born into a world where life has been defined as experiences of energy within a money system where money is the means with which to place one’s self in a position of being able to pursue the experience of energy — where no one is actually living and expressing here as physical beings with each other on Earth – but are all in their own mind bubble of energy experience trying to make their bubble real, missing out on themselves as a physical being
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I liked feeling energy between my hands because it made me feel special and powerful, and within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the reason I used energy experiences to make myself feel special and powerful, was because I struggled with making money and normally one would feel special and powerful if one is successful with money and can do what they want
Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to feel special and powerful, and to not realize and see that we have accepted a money system of struggle, fear, inequality, abuse – in the hope that maybe we will become successful so we can experience a feeling of power and specialness as the winners of the system – within this accepting and allowing losing to exist, thus perpetuating the allowance and acceptance of poverty and struggle to exist just so we can feel powerful and special in having been able to avoid such a circumstance
I commit myself to stop searching and seeking out ‘experiences’ to have, and instead focus on experiencing myself as the physical here through touch, through breathing, through looking at what is here – so I can get in Touch with reality and become stable in walking as a physical being and moving myself as a physical being to produce a world that is best for all life
I commit myself to apply self forgiveness on all points where I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself here as a physical being, through ideas, beliefs, fantasies about experiencing myself flying around in some reality consisting of ‘only energy’ after death
I commit myself to show how obsessing over experiencing and feeling energy is not producing a world where all life is free, but is only producing an individual experience that is used as entertainment and valued as a distraction to not see and take responsibility for the consequences of our accepted and allowed self interest – which is the poverty, war, starvation, suffering currently being endured by millions of beings daily
I commit myself to become the power of breath – where as breath I have the ability to move myself as the physical in walking the steps to produce a world that is best for all – where I do not need or require to feel an experience of energy as entertainment to motivate me
I commit myself to stop interpreting the physical reality through ideas and beliefs based on ‘how I would like to experience myself’, in realizing that in this I am separating myself from how the physical actually functions, and I commit myself to, with everything physical that is Here, investigate what it consists of and how it came to exist in the form it currently is formed as – so that I can actually inform myself about what is here, instead of forming interpretations about what is here
I commit myself to stop valuing experiences of energy, and start valuing what is best for all in the Physical reality of Earth, in realizing that it is the physical reality of Earth that gives ‘life’ to my experiences of energy, based on my accepted and allowed ideas, beliefs, values, definitions, and that what is relevant is to work with the physical in physically constructing a world system that supports all life – and within this I commit myself to stop seeing the physical reality as a prop to interpret according to my self interest