Day 268: Spontaneity: From Personality Stimulation to Self Expression – Part 2

Continuing from my last post:

http://www.matterfreeman.com/2014/09/day-267-what-is-humor-from-personality.html

So within this, I had a look within myself at how I actually experience real self expression and how it’s different from what I experience accessing a Personality. 

Now what I’ve found with myself is that I have naturally like, a very spontaneous expression, where I find I can, in for example sharing perspective with a group of people on a point I’ve walked for myself for instance, as I begin speaking and opening up the point, the dimensions of the point open up in speaking and walking through it, and within this, I can like, capture the ‘essence’ of the point, and express it using my total physical expression in voice, face, physical movements. Like, I may go from a rigid, ‘masculine’ kind of expression in communicating the nature of a certain point, to a more playful or ‘feminine’ kind of expression within another point, or from a ‘seriousness’, to a ‘madness’, or ‘craziness’, to a ‘softness’, where within this, as I’m seeing the point open up and seeing its nature and dimensions, the expression then opens up and flows from that seeing, and I move Me as that expression through my body / voice / face – as ME. Where, I’m not in that moment designing a ‘presentation’ and then presenting it, but rather it is spontaneous and unplanned.

And interesting here, is that when I am in this flow of expression, where it’s really ME coming forth in expressing what I see / expressing the nature of a point, within that there is no experience of a want or desire in relation to ‘getting something’ from the audience, or to have them ‘see me’ a certain way, or to have them ‘like me’ — because in that moment of expression, I am simply expressing Me, for ME, and fascinatingly though the expression comes forth spontaneously and can appear very ‘energetic’ and perhaps ’emotional’ — within me there is no energy — there is no stimulation happening, I am actually quite stable, clear, and quiet within myself, and remain aware of the moment and aware of myself.

Whereas when I go into a personality, for instance, ‘being entertaining’ — I find in that, that it’s triggered by this moment in which there’s an opportunity to say something / do something to GET a response from someone; like GET a laugh, or GET a smile, or GET them to like me in that moment, or GET them to admire me in that moment. Like, there’s a moment where within me is a PULL, or URGE of ‘I want to say / do this because I WANT to experience this or that response that I can see I would GET from him / her / them’.

So within that it’s not an actual Self Expression — it’s a Personality used to support a Character of ‘feeling good’ through getting attention. It involves a System — it involves generating ENERGY to, for a moment make myself FEEL something. It’s about manipulating myself and my world to get ENERGY, to get an experience for myself that ‘I Like’ — a moment of experiencing myself as ‘more than’. Within this, actually using the MIND — instead of accessing real Self Expression.

And within this, in accessing and acting out / living out such a personality, and such a character, what I see is that many times in order to have this personality and energy play out, I am using and fueling and substantiating and supporting whatever particular Mind programming a person has accepted, as the basis of their Humor and what Stimulates and Entertains them. So, in bringing someone to a point of laughter and stimulation through impulsing their judgments, self definitions, opinions, values, I am Accepting and Allowing those judgments, self definitions, opinions, and values to exist in them and in humanity / consciousness as a whole — and within that, accepting and allowing all the outflows and consequences and personalities and physical actions that come as a result of such judgments, self definitions, opinions, values.

Like, joking and making fun of someone or something in a moment, may seem like it ‘doesn’t matter’, or ‘doesn’t have an effect’, on anyone, and is therefore ‘innocent’ — is not actually so, because it is fueling and perpetuating the entire system of Stimulation to get / experience energy through one’s accepted and allowed Judgments, Opinions, Values, Definitions — supporting the experience / relationship in people’s minds with each other, where we see each other as sources of stimulation / energy as feelings and emotions and experiences — as a point of Self Interest through which we have Separated ourselves from who we really are as Life as Equal as Here.

We’ll continue opening up this point in the next post…